MORE MODULO

app/views/slack/flavortown/04_promoted.slack_message.slocks

@@ -175,7 +175,7 @@ when 101
   MSG
 
 else
-  case @identity.promote_click_count % 4
+  case @identity.promote_click_count % 12
   when 0
     header "regular customer"
 
@@ -219,5 +219,93 @@ else
 
       But I appreciate the company. See you next time, chef. :orpheus-dance:
     MSG
+
+  when 4
+    header "the return of the clicker"
+
+    section <<~MSG, markdown: true
+      _Flavorpheus is doing a crossword puzzle._
+
+      Six letters, starts with "C", ends with "licker". Hmm. Can't quite figure it out.
+
+      Oh wait, it's you. It's always you. <##{chan_lounge}> has puzzles too, you know. :crossword:
+    MSG
+
+  when 5
+    header "click click click"
+
+    section <<~MSG, markdown: true
+      _Flavorpheus is stress-baking._
+
+      You know what? Every time you click, I make another cookie. I now have #{@identity.promote_click_count + 1} cookies.
+
+      I don't even like cookies. Please. <##{chan_happenings}>. Go see what's happening. :half-eaten-cookie:
+    MSG
+
+  when 6
+    header "our most loyal patron"
+
+    section <<~MSG, markdown: true
+      _Flavorpheus hangs up a portrait of you on the wall._
+
+      I'm putting you in the Hall of Fame. Right next to the fire extinguisher. Because you're both things I never expected to use this much.
+
+      Now go make some friends in <##{chan_lounge}>. :frame-with-picture:
+    MSG
+
+  when 7
+    header "we meet again"
+
+    section <<~MSG, markdown: true
+      _Flavorpheus is teaching a cooking class, but stops mid-sentence._
+
+      Class, this is the one I told you about. The Button Chef. Legend has it they've never actually cooked anything, but they sure can click.
+
+      Anyway, <##{chan_neighbourhood}> has actual neighbors you can talk to. Just a thought. :peefest:
+    MSG
+
+  when 8
+    header "old friend"
+
+    section <<~MSG, markdown: true
+      _Flavorpheus is meditating in the corner._
+
+      I have achieved inner peace. Your clicks no longer disturb me. I am one with the button.
+
+      ...okay that's a lie, please go to <##{chan_library}> and read something. :meditate-wx:
+    MSG
+
+  when 9
+    header "déjà vu"
+
+    section <<~MSG, markdown: true
+      _Flavorpheus squints at you._
+
+      Have we... have we done this before? Wait, of course we have. We've done this #{@identity.promote_click_count + 1} times.
+
+      You know what you haven't done #{@identity.promote_click_count + 1} times? Visited <##{chan_welcome}>. :thonk-cool:
+    MSG
+
+  when 10
+    header "the saga continues"
+
+    section <<~MSG, markdown: true
+      _Flavorpheus is writing in a journal._
+
+      "Day #{@identity.promote_click_count + 1}. They clicked again. I no longer remember a time before the clicks. The clicks are eternal. The clicks are life."
+
+      Anyway, <##{chan_bulletin}> has announcements. Real ones. Not about you. :click:
+    MSG
+
+  when 11
+    header "at this point we're family"
+
+    section <<~MSG, markdown: true
+      _Flavorpheus pulls up a chair._
+
+      You know what? Sit down. Tell me about your day. We're past formalities now. We've been through too much together.
+
+      But also maybe check out <##{chan_help}> if you actually need something? :blob_cozy:
+    MSG
   end
 end